Saturday, July 31, 2010

Hello again


After a long absolutely unnecessary off-season, I've gotten back in blogging shape and I'm ready to hit the ground (keyboard) running (typing). I apologize for the long hiatus, it just didn't feel right anymore, but like they always say, you don't know what you have until its gone. Fortunately for me, and more importantly you, I don't really think the opportunity for me to drop diamonds on ya'll from time to time will ever really be "gone" considering all I have to do is remember my log-in information which is....


Seriously though, I've learned that this so called blog is a great way for people to waste unprecious/imprescious/nonprecious time and possibly even get a good laugh or two. So after talks with my lawyer and some contract negotiations I've decided to take my talents back to the Internet (LbJ anyone?). I'd like to add that I did take a significant pay cut because of the economy, but I'm still going to be making $0 for this so its all gravy. Speaking of, well not really speaking of gravy in particular, but anyways, I'm in Panera right now, sorry St. Louis Breadco, been here for about 3 hours-and I'm getting superly hungry. I'm probably gonna roll out of here soon because -1 I'm cheap and refuse to spend my money when not absolutely neccessary and -2 I have food at home and because I've been living all by my lonesome all summer, I've become quite the culinary expert.

Lets speak on that for a bit-living by yourself without mom and dad to pay for everything/cook you tasteylicious meals every night. So this summer I made a big life decision. I decided to forgo the lucrative summer career path (seriously, compared to now I made BANK) that I had been living the past 2 years training kids for basketball in my backyard for 2.3 jobs here in St. Louis. During the year I met an enthusiastic business owner who runs after school/summer programs for not-so-well-off kids teaching them fundamentals of sports and assisting them in their studies. I was intrEEged by this and met with him where I received the coveted basketball instructor/camp director at his summer camp. Little did I know I would be trying to teach 20 four year olds at a time, each, literally, in their own world.

My main man Jon White, when asked what he wants to do when he gets older, said-and I quote "Go to Lupiter"-which is a very interesting answer to me. Reasons for that being; I've been working at this camp for about 8 weeks thus far and have not once heard Jon utter a sentence in its entirety, in the english language. Now, it is suspect to include the sentence, go to lupiter, in the 100% english category, but I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt because he needs all the help he can get. Also, Lupiter apparently is a planet in a cartoon he watches-only took me about 2 weeks to get that information out of him. So as you can see, teaching these kids isn't the easiest thing I've ever done in my life.

Sorry about that rant-so quick review-Dylan gives up his summer bball training job, gets picked up by the big leagues and becomes the basketball instructor at this camp-Athletic Scholars Academy. Getting paid a whopping 8 dollars an hour (significantly less than Camp Dylan's Backyard Basketball Hoops at Home in Chicago). I do this 2 days a week and then 2 days a week I "tutor" kids which consists of me getting confused by how to do long division because g-d knows I forget how to do that the instant I passed my long division test. So I'm working-lets say 30 hours a week there making nothing, and getting taxed on the nothing I make on top of that. But it gets better...I also have an internship at the Riverfront Times newspaper in marketing and promotions. This, I do for free. Unpaid internship-gotta love em-and if your wondering if I'm getting class credit for it or anything-the answer to that appropriately is no. I'm taking a class where I have to write journals every few weeks, and I am getting "full time student status credit" which is good for next semester. As if I wouldn't be taking enough credits to be a full time student in the first place or else I wouldn't be going here-GORSCH...yeah thats kind of an angry gosh-darnet-type expression. That internship is good though because I usually manage to get through my daily responsibilities and have time to whip out my surf board and ride the web waves. (Get it-surf the web-HAH).

In all seriousness the Riverfront Times internship is a great experience, one that I will be able to use to further my professional-ish career, and I'm able to be a positive role model and influence on the kids at my camp. I'm B & T-blessed and thankful, but poking fun at the situation is always the way to go, and its simply too easy. Can't take anything too seriously.

We can get our culinary chat on next time- I was planning on going right into that because I'm hungry but sometimes things just don't go as planned. I want to end by saying that I'm happy to be back and although its been a while, I'll try and keep ya'll updated more often. 2 more weeks of work then summer is basically over and itll be time for school again where the magic really happens. In the next few weeks if you get bored-please go on facebook and leave questions on the Riverfront Times facebook page-because I've started a question/answer tradition when I'm in the office and its almost as entertaining as this blog/keeps me entertained. Just follow this 4 step simple process- 2-search riverfront times 3-leave a question on the wall 4-wait for a witty, smart, good looking answer from an anonymous person quite possibly named dylan-BUT DON'T LET ANYONE KNOW BECAUSE MY IDENTITY MUST BE KEPT SECRET...I plan on being the most famous St. Louis celebrity never to actually be known.

I'm posted up at a table next to the bathroom and a large man who looked like he was in need of the lavatory just raced by and in so I'm going to leave before he gets back out. Hope you have all been able to survive the blog-drought. Jeweler: out!