Monday, March 29, 2010

Player Profile: Alexander Sanchez Toth (& other stuff)

Here it goes...the first annual player profile. After receiving thousands of letters, e-mails, and flowers&phone numbers from beautiful woman, Alexander Toth came out as the leader vote getter with 1 vote, from himself. So I'm not entirely sure how this is going to go but I think I'm going to do my best to give a brief overview of his existence thus far on the planet including accomplishments and embarrassing stories if I can think of any. Just a quick side-note, most likely 95% of the material will be made up in a sad attempt to be funny. If one doesn't find any of it funny, then take the material to be serious and true because if that happens, my mission has failed. Without further ado (had to get lil D-Town to look at that one up...and it came up with ado and adieu, I went with the former obviously so I wouldn't have to type as much, but considering I added the parenthesis explaining the event and my decision, I ended up typing about 45-I did the math- times the amount I would have) I present to you,

Alexander Sanchez Toth III.

This is an awful day before I start-I am not paying attention at all because I have music on, a movie on, and people in my room. Fighting through adversity is my middle name though so I'm going to stick it out and make this happen.

Contrary to popular belief, Alex did not enter this world as a normal baby, he actually entered this world 6'5 230 and that is the way he has been ever since....

I've been stuck on that for like 25 minutes and I hate to admit it but I lied about something. My middle name isn't actually fighting through adversity, its Reynold. Lame, I know, but it makes my initials Dr. R which is kind of cool except there is absolutely no way I will be attending college long enough for that to literally be possible (me being a doctor). I plan to remove myself from school after this semester actually and enter the draft. The NBA draft. You are probably talking to the computer screen or calling your mother saying things like Dylan, after sending you flowers and casting my vote for player profiles, I'm seriously disappointed in your lack of ability to write more than 3 lines about your roomate/bestie Alex Toth.

(To that I say I know, I honestly expected more from myself too but when it came time to crunch or what is more commonly referred to as crunch-time, I couldn't adequately perform. I panicked feeling the weight of the world on my finger joints and I just couldn't think of anything whatsoever to say so I gave up and decided to take my blog in a different direction)

Now the next thing your saying is Dylan, the NBA draft...unless that stands for there is Nothing funny about you But your Awkward looking face draft (the NBA is highlighted in there), theres no way your going to get drafted, and of course I have a response to that as well which I will let you know about soon enough in the next paragraph...

To that I say no punk, although I would most likely be the first pick in that redunkulous draft that doesn't even make sense because you threw way too many letters in there in addition to those that stood for the NBA, I'm fairly confident that the National Basketball Association could use a player like me at a time like this, please let me explain...

The NBA is full of ego's, overpaid and overgrown men. I think its about time a overweight, non-paid, ego-less and devilishly good looking lad enter the mix. From the ESPN analyst's pre draft boards so far, it looks like I'd most likely be a top 17 pick and worst case scenario-I'd go early 2nd round. I've already worked out (...at wash u) for some NBA teams (replace "for" with "while", and then add "were playing on TV"at the end), and I think they really liked what they didn't see. Not only could I make an immediate impact by lifting the confidence of all players on my team during practice as they dunk, shoot and dribble on my face, but also because I'd be able to bring my fan following from this blog to the team. Adding my mom, brother and Sanchez Toth to the teams die hard fans. I will keep you all updated on the status of my professional career through twitter.com/drich20. Follow that because I'm following an unreal amount of movie stars, professional athletes, and other famous people of the sort but unfortunately they are yet to return the follow favor and reciprocate...although I know they're on the way soon.

I'd like to finish this by saying that I know this is by far the weakest entry I have put up to date and am excited that I've gotten it out of the way. All great humans go through slumps in their life and I believe my blogging life has seen its slump but I want to let you know that I plan on doing everything in my power to get them back to the SOLID GOLD status that my former posts have reached.

Platinum Status Richter Out.
Diamond Status Richter In Next Post.

I'm going to SSHABBOOOOOOOMSSSSS.

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